Weddings or Marriages?

The two VERY different words yet, it is always confused with one another. Am I right? Most girls talk about weddings, the details, colours, invitation, place, and what not. And others talk about the years of relationships, how many kids, place to build a home and such. What kind of girl doesnt talk about this kind of thing? Most of them do. What I can say about weddings or marriages is only ramblings. I dont have the intention, or the effort to come close to it.

The way I see it, I WANT to get married at 30. Is it too late? For me, I dont think so, but because of my parents, I have to get married at least 27 for me to have a perfect womb and hormone balance. I imagined myself getting married at 30 but the truth is, I can't even draw a picture of the groom-to-be in my head. I've always been unlucky when it comes to love. So, I dont expect to find a man that can totally change how I feel in the next few years. So, that leaves me 9 more years to be living the life I wanted. The 9 years of making sense in my life.

If we talk about wedding, I would like to have the nikah (solemnization) at home. The reception at some hall, and the catering would be from my mom's business of Nasi beriani Johor. That's it. That's my plan of a wedding. Lame, isn't it? I dont even know what kind of decorations there should be. Flowers and stuff. I dont care.

Marriage on the other hand, I have this sense of seeing myself in the future either divorced with a child, or single and rich. I own a car, 2 superbikes, and an apartment of my dreams. Preferably a loft. I can never see myself with a man in the future. I'm not being negative, I just feel like there is no room for a guy in my future. But that doesnt mean that I'm not opening up to anyone. I am, or atleast, trying to with Mr Handsome. Can't expect much of him, I'm just living the moment.